Kim

This is what I remember about the day that I decided to leave:
I woke up cold, because it was a chilly morning for June, and I looked around the back alley, and listened to the children get off the bus for school, they were excited because school was almost over for them, and I started to cry. I could not stop thinking about what Brad had said just a few months earlier, and about how I thought of that last conversation as the catalyst for my fall. By that time, I had spent the last 3 months and a bit living on the streets, as they say, or sleeping on a friends couch, whenever I could. I thought about my areas of seclusion, and of apathy, the penalty boxes at the rinks near the school, unused in the summer time, the park benches, the back alleys, friends basements, and I thought to myself that maybe I would feel different if I had a change of environment. I left town three weeks later.
That was a little over 6 years ago now, and I can honestly say that I am so much happier than I was, living out west. I can't say that everything has been perfect since then, there have been a lot of rough times, but I can say that I am happy. I live in a house with some of the best people that I have ever known, and I am thankful for them. I get to make music that makes me happy, and I have met people that are passionate about making music, too. I have found a place where I can be happy with who I am, but to be honest, I am not sure if it is because of the change in environment, or if there was always this happiness inside of me, and I just chose to ignore it.
I like to think now, looking back, that there was always this joy inside of me, and that I would have eventually found it, either here or there, with the right heart. So I always shudder a little when people say "the grass is always greener on the other side" because I always think to myself that people should just be content with where they are, but then I remember that morning, 6 years ago, when I decided to leave, and I feel guilty for thinking to myself that maybe you should just stay where you are. I do hope that you find what you are looking for, but I hope that you look inside of yourself first, and if you decide to look over here, I will look with you, like older brothers do.